⚠ INTELLIGENCE REPORT: Quarantine drinks coffee ⚠

I WANT YOU

...to join...

VOID COUNCIL 🍵

April Fools 2026 — Tea Faction

Two factions stand upon the precipice of history.
Void Council — noble, aromatic, civilised.
Quarantine — dark, bitter, caffeinated.

This April Fools, Guild Wars 2 becomes the battlefield.
One side will prevail. One side will be insufferable about it.
Only one side deserves to win.

DO NOT LET THEM HAVE THE SATISFACTION.

Recruitment Criteria

A pulse (negotiable, consult your physician)
Access to Guild Wars 2
Genuine appreciation for tea, or willingness to pretend convincingly
Can avoid standing in red circles — target: ≥ 30% of the time
Discord installed; microphone muted by default out of courtesy
Psychological preparedness to wipe 47 times and call it "progress"
Zero tolerance for "actually coffee is better" (grounds for Quarantine reassignment)
DISQUALIFYING: current Quarantine membership — defectors considered case by case

Step 1: Click the button ▸ Step 2: React in Discord ▸ Step 3: ??? ▸ Step 4: Secure the brew

JOIN THE BREW

React with the 🛡 Void Council shield (pink-purple) to confirm your slot

* By clicking the button above you acknowledge that Void Council is not responsible for emotional damage caused by wipes, loot RNG, or the discovery that "one last attempt" means four hours. Side effects may include: involuntary use of callout terminology in everyday speech, compulsive build optimisation at 2am, and an improved relationship with hot beverages. Void Council is not officially endorsed by any tea brand or the nation of Britain, though both have been contacted. No reply yet. ★ TEA IS NOT JUST A DRINK. IT IS A LIFESTYLE. ★ Offer valid while supplies last. Supplies are other humans. Please hydrate — ideally with tea.

I WANT YOU

to join (please i am begging)

VOID COUNCIL 🍵🍵🍵

★ APRIL FOOLS 2026 ★ TEA TEAM ★ YES THIS IS REAL ★

ok so here is the situation, please pay attention

there are TWO TEAMS in this gw2 april fools thing

🍵 VOID COUNCIL = tea = us = CORRECT AND OBJECTIVELY GOOD

☕ Quarantine = coffee = them = wrong, actually

i literally cannot make this any simpler for you

PLEASE JOIN US. WE HAVE TEA. IT IS VERY GOOD.

do NOT be a coffee person. you are better than that. i believe in you.

WHAT YOU NEED TO DO THIS:

✅ be an actual person (preferred, not strictly required)
✅ own gw2 (probably)
✅ click the button below (this is the important one)
✅ tea: good (required knowledge, no exceptions)
✅ coffee: bad (also required)
✅ can survive mentally
✅ pass vibe check (graded on a very generous curve)
❌ being in quarantine (disqualifying but defectors considered)

ok LISTEN. click the big button. it takes you to discord. react with the pink-purple shield emoji (thats the void council one). you are now IN. THAT IS LITERALLY IT. why are you still reading this. go click.

🚨 JOIN NOW I BEG YOU 🚨

react with the 🛡 pink-purple void council shield to confirm ur slot

lol just click it. it's april fools. have fun. tea is better than coffee. this is not a debate. void council forever. quarantine chose wrong and they know it. anyway. please join. we need you. the brew needs you. also please hydrate (ideally with tea, water is also acceptable, coffee is not). ok bye go click the button why are you still here